Sunday, June 12, 2011

I would hate to be normal!

I've had a bad couple of weeks. Actually, I've had a bad month. I've only been manic twice in the last month. And even then it was only for a couple days. I hate it. If I'm not manic, I'm just blah! I don't want to do anything but watch tv and overeat. I make plans and to-do lists and then cast them aside. I have no energy. No drive. Nothing!

So how do normal people do it? How do the mentally sound get through each day without feeling the intense drive that mania gives? How do they live life without that manic "I can do anything" feeling. Or do they have that same drive and that same feeling just in lower non-manic doses? I don't know. And I don't want to find out!

All I know is when I think about it, I feel sorry for my husband because he doesn't get to feel these intense happy feelings. But then I'm jealous that he doesn't have to feel the sad, mad, empty feelings that comes when the mania is gone.

I wish I could just be manic all the time.

1 comment:

  1. I understand what you mean. I miss manic but I haven't been manic now for over six months and that time it only lasted about a week and it happened while I was in hospital being treated for depression, it was just that their drugs worked too well for a few days. Then I was dosed with other drugs to bring me down. I do like manic, but it wears everyone else out and they worry what I will do when I am on my own. I think I'd prefer to be in the middle to be honest. It's much easier to get stuff done in a normal pace and I don't have anyone worrying about me.