Sunday, June 12, 2011

Can a Borderline have a long distance relationship?

I have to leave, to go back home. My Dad is really sick and I'm pretty sure he won't live another year. My step-mom is treating him like crap. He said he fell down a couple times and she made him lay there for an hour each time before helping him up. And even though he has trouble moving, she won't help him with anything. So I need to go home and take care of him.

But home is 2000 miles away and my husband can't join me for 5 - 6 months. Can we survive that long? Can I survive that long?

I have so many fears about leaving. Will he cheat on me? Will he talk bad about me? Will he realize he's better off without me? Will he decide not to follow me? So many worries...

John's not happy about it anyways. But he says he doesn't have the right to ask me to stay because he would do the same thing for his parents. Heck! We did do the same thing for his parents. We were just supposed to visit his parents in North Carolina for a couple weeks and then move up to my hometown in South Dakota. But then John's Dad hurt his back. So we stayed to take care of him. Then John got walking pneumonia. Then he had to get 2 teeth pulled and by then we had no money to move. So we stayed here....for over 3 years.

Although I wanted to leave immediately when my Dad told me how bad it is, I've put off leaving until the beginning of September. We have a week-long vacation to Pigeon Forge planned for the end of August. I figure that will give us some one-on-one time before I leave.

I hate this, but I have to go.


  1. Is bringing your Dad home any kind of possibility?
    This must be really hard for you. Honestly, I don't know what I would do if I were in your position.
    Anyway, I think if a Borderline can have a close distance relationship, they definitely can have a long distance one. But then I say that, because I'm better off with a long distance relationship. So, I'm not the best person to be commenting on that.
    Meanwhile, have a good vacation and perhaps talking more with your husband and Dad will help to resolve things.

  2. My first idea was to bring him here to live with us. We have a big house with 2 extra bedrooms and we live in the mountains. Since it's always been his dream to live in the woods, I thought he would say yes. But he's not willing to leave my Grandma.
    I don't understand how you've been able to have long distance relationships. If John is gone just a couple hours longer than planned I start to wonder if he's leaving me. This is going to be a huge test of our relationship.